Releasing Emotional Triggers in Relationships. Podcast: Download. Subscribe! If you were yelled at as a child, and you attached fear to being yelled at, then you might get triggered as an adult when someone around you as yelling. Triggers are childhood beliefs that aren’t necessarily true anymore, and need to be addressed to save your relationships. Once you release your old triggers, you can view the world from an entirely different place, instead of through the eyes of a fearful child.(The following is a transcript of episode 0. Today we’re talking eliminating triggers in relationships. I touch on triggers here and there throughout this show, but I thought it was about time we had a full episode on exactly what triggers are, and the steps we can take to decrease or completely dissolve them in our relationships. This should be an interesting episode, because we’re going to use actual techniques that you may or may not have ever heard before. One or two of these may be straight out of the book of Neuro Linguistic Programming, because they are just that effective. If you don’t know what NLP is, let’s just say it’s a way to communicate with a part of you that isn’t conscious. It’s not hypnosis, but it is a deeper level of questions and techniques that help you change from the inside out. Triggers are powerful and can be quite damaging to relationships. They’re powerful in the sense that they are practically unstoppable when they arrive. And they’re typically damaging because when we’re triggered, we make decisions from that triggered state. And these decisions are usually different than the ones we make when we aren’t triggered. Our behavior changes, our motivation changes, everything. It’s like we have an entirely different personality. We’ll go over what triggers are momentarily. By the time the episode is over, you’ll recognize your own triggers, and what you can do when you get triggered. This is one of those subject matters that might push some buttons, but that’s pretty much what happens when you talk about what triggers someone anyway! You push their buttons. Talking about triggers is bound to pull up your own triggers, so all I ask is that you stick around for the full episode so I can take you out of your triggered state, so you can start enjoying life again. I want you to be able to experience life with clarity and purpose, not cloudiness from being in an altered emotional state, which is basically what happens when you get triggered. Feeling, Attitude, Emotion, and Heart Words [email protected] www.selfcraft.net/writeyourself/Thewords.htm loving low low-spirited loyal lucky lustful mad magnanimous malevolent manic manipulative manly martyred matter-of-fact. A trauma trigger may also be referred to as a trauma stimulus or a trauma stressor. Like I said, we’ll get into how I define triggers in a moment, but for now, just think about a trigger as something that upsets you. For example, you might get triggered when you see a sink full of dirty dishes. You might get triggered when someone leaves their toys all over the floor (sorry guys, not just kids do that!). Or, you could get triggered when you see the toilet seat left up. Triggers happen, and they change our mood. They change our behavior, and our state of mind. Strengthen your relationship by using his emotional triggers to get him to show you more love and respect by learning to influence your partner's responses. Emotional and Psychological Trauma: Causes, Symptoms. The emotional aftermath of such events. Emotional and Psychological Trauma: Causes, Symptoms. And believe it or not, many of us are in a continuously triggered state, causing us to see the world through clogged filters. And when we can’t see clearly, we find it hard to make decisions and do behavior from a place of clarity. I’m really looking forward to diving into this with you! Triggers aren’t fun, but they can be diminished or completely obliterated, so stick around.***In 2. I met who I believed to be my soul mate. A woman who I was attracted to physically, mentally and personality- wise. We hit it off immediately, and I was completely falling for her within a few days. In fact, we were falling for each other fast. So we both dove into the relationship head- first, knowing that we finally found . Actually, it may have taken a few weeks before we felt that way, but it was soon into our relationship that we both knew that this was what we wanted. However, something happened in that first few weeks that set the tone for the next 8 years. I spent 2. 0 years in a house with an alcoholic, and I was ready to leave all that stuff behind. I realize that sugar addiction and alcohol addiction are two different beasts, but to someone who’s been through the stress of an addictive household, I feared living in that kind of environment again. Her emotional eating triggered my fear that I was trapped with someone who couldn’t control their behavior. I also got triggered that I was not loved, and that sugar was more important than me. A very long list of 'feeling words' to help develop emotional literacy and emotional. Here you will find part of the world's longest list of feeling words. Free PDF Books from EQI. An Emotional Hair Trigger, Often Misread. Continue reading the main story Share This Page. Continue reading the main story. And the Surprising Words That Spark a Man's Passion. Quiz: Click a Purple Button Below And See the Hidden Cause of Your Situation. What do most women not know, about how to keep a man. How to Trigger Emotional Attraction with Men. Hearing good words from your partner is really helpful in boosting your self-esteem. My triggers activated, and soon everything I did was from that place. My attitude and behavior changed when her attitude and behavior changed because of her cravings. When she needed sugar or comfort food, she was a different person, almost out of control. In reality, I probably should have left the situation, but I locked myself in. I wanted her love, so I stayed. I wanted the comfort she gave me, so I stayed. I wanted everything a person could get from a healthy relationship, so I stayed. The problem was, that this was an unhealthy relationship, in many ways! One of those ways was her addiction, but the other, was my reaction to her addiction. I could have responded out of compassion, supporting her, asking her what she needed from me, which may have allowed her to feel safe and find solutions on her own. But instead, I reacted out of ego, worrying about my needs not getting met, and upset that she loved sugar which meant that she didn’t love me. This is the stuff that goes on in our heads sometimes though. We get into a situation, get triggered, then blame the other person for our triggers. In reality, my triggers were mine, and I needed to process and release them before ever having the ability to be there for her with compassion. If I did get over my triggers, then I would have had a clear head on the best steps to take for me and for us. But I didn’t, not for a long time. Almost from the very beginning of the relationship, I was triggered. While triggered, I couldn’t feel open and free to love and be happy. Being triggered was like being held back from happiness. When I was triggered, I wasn’t able to fully express my full passion and love for my partner. I wasn’t there for her, I was only watching out for me. And for about 7 years, I was continuously triggered. And for about 7 years, she closed off from me bit by bit. That’s what happens when you’re triggered in any relationship. The person whose behavior you’re triggered by closes off little by little, because they feel less and less safe around you. We got married in 3 years, then got a divorce 4 years after that. She closed her heart to me because I couldn’t open mine. And a year before she left, I was able to release my major triggers, and became more open and free, able to love from a whole new place inside. But by that time, she could not trust me inside her heart again, so I was closed out permanently. This is what happens when we get triggered, we slowly and surely cause the other person to take one more step back away from us, so that they can protect themselves from us, even if their behavior is the cause of our trigger! In other words, I got triggered by her addictive behavior, causing her to back away from me, closing the door on our relationship forever. I mean, no one can really cause our hearts to close, we actually do that ourselves out of protection. But there is usually a direct cause and effect in play, and, it works both ways! When she would eat emotionally, I would get triggered, and when I got triggered, she would sense it, and then eat emotionally. It was a vicious cycle, and there was no way out until one of us stopped the behavior. I finally chose to address my triggers, but it was obviously too late to repair the damage that had been done. So we broke up, got a divorce, and went our own way. Lots of pain, lots of lessons. And we both needed a whole lot of growing and healing afterward. Let’s talk about triggers and what it takes to process them, and maybe even release them.***A trigger is what happens when someone says or does something that causes a negative emotion to suddenly arise in you. It’s the fear and anger you get when getting cut off in traffic. It’s the sadness and maybe even rejection you feel when watching someone you love pick up a drink when they promised you they’d never drink again. It’s what happens inside you when you find out your business associate stole from you. Triggers are those sudden, negative reactions that rise up within us when, what we hope or expect, is not met. Triggers are stored deep in our subconscious mind, just waiting for a familiar situation to appear so that they can be activated. Think of triggers as old emotions being re- awakened when your brain senses what it believes to be a threat. A trigger can also be something positive too, like laughter. But in this episode, we’re only talking about the types of triggers that feel bad. A trigger is usually created once, then repeated over and over again throughout your life, until you release it. A trigger is usually created because of a survival need, and most often when we are children. For example, one of my triggers was that when I sensed an addictive behavior in someone, I felt fearful and sad. This started as early as I can remember when the alcoholic in the house drank. As soon as I saw what he did when he was drunk, I became fearful, and just wanted to survive. So my trigger about addictive behavior got created at that time. This was extremely beneficial in the sense that it kept me safe from other addicts and their unpredictable behavior. By developing a survival behavior, or a trigger, I stayed safe. I knew what behavior to avoid, and kept that trigger throughout my life. The drawback of having that trigger was that, in some contexts, it was inappropriate. In the context of living in an alcoholic home as a child, it was appropriate. I knew when to feel fear and when to be hyper- aware of everything going on around me. It was useful. In the context of a more . The triggers can lie dormant in us for years until something happens that, well, triggers it. That’s why it’s called a trigger.
0 Comments
|
Details
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
December 2016
Categories |